Would the defendant please rise?
Yep, I'm being sued alright! Today I was served with a Writ of Summons in the name of "Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom, Canada, and Her other realms and Territories, Queen, Head of Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith." Yikes!This is going to be a tough battle! It's me against all of them. On or about October 17, 2000 I was in a car accident whereby someone who will remain nameless ran a red light, crashing into me in an intersection. The passenger in my car (who will also remain nameless) sustained injuries to the neck, back and shoulders, and has been in chiro (not Cairo) since then. Her lawyer (who I will name), Mr. E. Anthony Thomas of Simpson Thomas & Associates, for some strange reason decided to include me in the lawsuit as a defendant rather than a witness. "The said collision was caused or contributed to by the fault or negligence of the Defendant, PATRICK JONATHAN GIBSON, and in particular:
- failing to keep an adequate lookout; (false)
- driving at an excessive rate of speed; (false)
- failing to stop or turn out; (I did my best to stop and turn [out?])
- failing to use adequate lights; (false. they are always on -- they cannot be turned off)
- failing to use adequate brakes; (false. it being wet out, my brakes did the best they could -- give them a break!)
- failing to sound a warning; (true. in the half-second I had to react, I decided to brake and turn rather than honk)
- driving a defective vehicle; (false. excuse me, defective? my Honda Civic is far from defective)
- failing to comply with the rules of the road; (I could be wrong, but don't I have the right of way on a green light?)
- driving without due care; (false. I always drive with due care)
- failing to obey traffic controls; (huh?)
- failing to heed weather conditions; (false. heed: verb. to pay attention, to give consideration. it was wet out, so I decided not to speed.)
- failing to maintain the said motor vehicle in a proper mechanical condiction. (false. I'd like to know how E. Anthony Thomas came to this conclusion! My car runs just fine, thank you very much!)
Well, it looks like I'll be spending some time in the slammer. Lucky for me, I've been watching Oz lately, so I know how to act in there. First order of business: find myself someone to be my "bitch".
In all fairness to the plaintiff though: she honestly did not realize that her lawyer would sue me. I'll keep everyone posted on how things are going. If you don't hear from me within 7 (seven) days, you can reach me here.
